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Re: The Christine Experiment #1 - The End
I think this could be waaay more scary if you tried. Tell what happened to the friends, use gory graphic details and all that good stuff. 'Twas good though, although ...
Aug 3, 2008 -
Re: A Moonlit Stroll
Okay, this story didn't make much sense to me. So the baby was dead in his arms, alive? Was it even a real baby? Who's the 'she' that the father ...
Jul 30, 2008 -
Re: My story
Hiya! These tears are the hurt caused The pain felt The agony the misery the distress The beating of the heart different then the norm The pulse is much quicker ...
Jul 30, 2008 -
Re: Vampires before midnight.
'Lo Ash! The only other thing that could be heard was screams of fear that rang in the air. Instead of 'was screams of fear', use 'were the screams of ...
Jul 29, 2008 -
Re: Scarlet Ice: Chapter One
M. Morose, I said I would crit your first chapter; and I keep my promises. "An e-mail was sent to us from the university," I would put a period at ...
Jul 29, 2008 -
Re: Duncan's Death
Heya ButterFlyInk, Duncan had fought with me about dad's case, he didn't think that dad was innocent like I did. Instead of a comma after case, use a semi colon. ...
Jul 28, 2008 -
Re: The Last Time
Conrad Rice (I know a guy with the last name Rice), These were men, stuffed and mounted like trophies. Mannequins for someone’s sinister purposes. Instead of that first period, use ...
Jul 28, 2008 -
Re: The Statement
Conrad, It felt like he was just retreading old ground I copied 'retreading' into my word document, because I wasn't so sure, and it said it wasn't a word. I'm ...
Jul 28, 2008 -
Re: Away in the City
Heya KailaMarie (pretty name, I have to say), Before he e ven This was the only mistake I found, 'e ven' should be 'even', Lol. Very wonderful story! I really ...
Jul 28, 2008 -
Re: Scarlet Ice: Prolgue.
Hey, "Sean...Sean.."she moaned, "Please!" The second Sean only has two dots after it, put three. Also, the she should have a space between it and the quotations, instead of this: ...
Jul 28, 2008 -
Re: ...
Hey Prok! First I'd like to say, Congratulations! You're my first review for Saint Razorblade's contest! Not that it means anything, but... Okay, I'll start criting now. :P You wake ...
Jul 28, 2008 -
Re: Ash In The Box
Hey Wifeykins, You told me to be harsh, I'll try! -"Get them! Get them, you useless cowboy! What do you think you're doing? I could ride better than you fools!" ...
Jul 27, 2008 -
Re: Vengeance
'Lo Nolan (once again) I liked this very much! Your poetry is very deep, you really have to look at it to understand it, rather than read it. If that ...
Jul 25, 2008 -
Re: Leaving My Soul
'Lo Nolan! Gee! Just post something absolutely flawless and without mistake so none of us can fix anything, whydontcha? But that unanimation, it isn't a word, and I know you ...
Jul 25, 2008 -
Re: That Word
Hello! First let me correct these few grammer mistakes. Die. Why is that word, (add a comma) Only one little word, (another comma) Such a beautiful song? Why do I ...
Jul 24, 2008
